It's been ages since an actual entry. I really did not stick to writing here. I guess I kind of forgot and left this page alone for.. a year. It wasn't my intention to leave for so long. Even if no one reads this, it might be beneficial for my mental health to have a blog. A place where I can let loose and write whatever's on my mind. Maybe I could eventually show this to my future therapist. We'll see.
The last time I wrote in a digital diary was a few months ago. I reread my entry and it was about unrequited love. Nothing I haven't dealt with before.
Love is really confusing. I have had so much trouble understanding my own feelings lately. I want to distance myself from others to avoid causing issues but at the same time, I love them. At least I think I do. I don't know. I've spent so long trying to figure it out but nothing makes sense.
I have been missing my ex. Not in a romantic sense. I think I just miss the good times in our relationship. He ended things with me because he 'thought I didn't love him anymore' or something. I'm sure that was just a lie. I think he was the one who fell out of love with me. I would also like to add that when he broke up with me, I was suffering from severe depression and was less affectionate than I used to be. Maybe he was tired of dealing with me. It's alright though. I let go of the romantic feelings I had for him. I miss being his friend.
Romance is just scary at this point. I'm afraid of letting people down. There's this one person and I'm pretty sure I love them but I'm scared of talking about it. I get butterflies when I think about things like kissing them or being around them and I miss them a lot. But at the same time, I can't end things the way I did last time. I can't hurt them like that again. Maybe I need to let go. I'm sorry, my dear. I just can't do that to you.
0 comments:
Post a Comment