3/14/24

Why is it that when someone does something totally harmless but different or unique, they're criticized? I never really understood that. Maybe it's because I am considered 'out of the ordinary'. Seems like the conventionally attractive people don't like my hair color or weight or the way I dress. I will never appeal to them.

And that's okay. It gets tiring trying to be what everyone else wants you to be. I have been as perfect as I can be for my parents until I started to crack. I was 10 years old and cutting myself in the bathroom of my elementary school. No child should go through that. I don't blame my parents for my childhood being taken from me. I blame other factors.

Sometimes it feels like everything that happened was my fault. I hate remembering what happened. I hate thinking I could have prevented it one way or another.

Maybe God was punishing me.